Spring has sprung here in Shanghai. Winter clothing has been packed away and new spring/summer clothes line the closets. For our daughter Livia this is the first night a nightie is worn instead of long winter pajamas. This change is however not welcomed. Livia wants pants. Not because it is cold, but because she has worn pants for the last four months. "Why change now?" she protests.
As I write this, Livia is whining in her bedroom, "I want pants. I want pants." Like other children, she can repeat a sentence like this a hundred times or more until she finally falls asleep (Last night the 15 minute whine was about her having one less blanket).
So, as a parent what are our options as we sit here in our bedroom?
1.) Try put up with the whining for a few minutes but then rush into her bedroom and give her some pants.
2.) Go in and remind her that it is warm enough for no pants. "You won't be cold."
3.) Try to ignore it.
What is a pro and con of each choice?
1.) If we give her what she is whining about, we send the message: WHINING WORKS.
2.) If we remind her of the futility of her request: THE WHINING WILL MOST LIKELY BE EXTENDED. There is no benefit in reasoning with a whining child. No one, including adults, can think clearly and logically in an emotionally-charged situation.
3.) If we choose to ignore it we teach: BEGGING AND WHINING ARE NOT EFFECTIVE TOOLS.
Livia was sound asleep within 20 minutes. Writing this helped me ignore it.
Making it a great evening,
Wayne